How Heartbreak Affects Your Brain

Have you ever been in a relationship that came to an abrupt end? If so, you fully understand why heartbreak is an appropriate description of what you felt. You don't have to be left at the altar to feel intense feelings of rejection. Maybe a friendship fades away or ends in misunderstanding or "falling out." Heartbreak takes many forms when love appears to be lost. The worst part is living with the pain of rejection. If you've known heartache you know that emotional pain feels as "real" as physical pain even though there are no physical injuries, conditions or visual scars to contend with. So why can emotional pain make you feel like you've fallen off a horse and you don't know how to get back on your feet again? The answer is in your brain. New cognitive research tells us that heartbreak is similar to experiencing actual physical pain. That's because our brain triggers sensations that make an emotionally broken heart feel like the body has been subjected to physical pain. Researchers who have analyzed people who have been intensely rejected say that rejection is so painful it appears to be similar to how people feel when they've been physically hurt. One reason is that intense emotions that led to a broken relationship are hard to let go. It's easy for people to want to review every event leading up to a lost relationship, over and over again. They feel compelled to find out how they could have done things differently. Sad memories only make them feel worse. Neuroscience researchers have found that when participants (whose brains were scanned) were asked to think about heartbreak or when they were shown a photo of the "one that got away," their brains reacted as if their body was feeling physical pain. What can we learn from heartache knowing that our brains react to emotional pain? *.Don't minimize the pain you feel.Tell yourself that you will feel better over time. Just like the old adage that says time heals all wounds, give yourself time. Don't rush a renewal of these complex emotions. *.Take one day at a time.Telling yourself you will get through the difficult moments is the first step in the recovering process. *.Pay attention to your symptoms.A decreased quality of sleep or a loss of appetite are things to keep an eye on. If these signs persist, don't hesitate to talk to an experienced professional. *.Take time to be good to yourself.Make certain you schedule something on your calendar every day that you can look forward to. It could be as simple as looking forward to reading a new book or inviting a friend over to watch TV and chat. *.Make sure you get a good night's sleep.Quality sleep will help you greet each day with renewed optimism. *.Don't isolate yourself.Build your confidence by reaching out to people. Reach out to new friends as well as people who you haven't seen in a while. *.Look for opportunities to try something new.Maybe you wanted to take a woodworking class or learn a new language. Start searching for activities that interest you. You'll feel good about yourself when you take that first step toward a new beginning.