How Love Can Survive Prison Walls
Believe it or not, love can survive, even
if your husband, boyfriend or lover is
in prison. My husband and I are prime
examples, and not only has ourlove
survived, but it has grown stronger
with each passing day...with each beat of our hearts. I like the saying, "we are
2 hearts that beat as one." My husband has been within the
prison system for the past 23 months.
We have benn married for 4 years, of
which 23 months we have been
separated by prison walls. But we
have proven that "love prevails," and not even prison walls can keep us
apart! "How do you both do it?" you may
ask. It is easy, and in this article, I hope
to give you a few basic tips. First of all, it does help to be madly "in
love" with each other! Then, the rest
becomes easy! 1. Keep in close contact by the phone.
As most prison wives know, prison
calls are highly expensive. If you are
able to, accept those collect calls. If
you are not capable of it, keep in close
contact through the mail. I send my husband letters, computer print-outs
of articles and information he is
interested in, newspaper clippings. I
keep manilla envelopes at home and
throughout the week I slip things of
interest into the envelope...Then I make at least one, if not more trips to
the post office to mail letters and
envelopes to him. At my post-office I
am a well- known face for the past 23
months! 2. Send him lots of cards for holidays,
and other times. It helps me to not
only think of him while looking for
"that perfect card," but he enjoys
receiving them, and often shows them
to the fellow inmates. Remember that "mail-time' is a very important time of
the day when in prison. Some guys
never even receive mail...it is almost a
game or competition with the guys as
how much mail they receive....The
inmates would always joke around with my husband that his wife was
going to cause the mailroom to 'close,'
as I was sending him so much mail.
.....Valentine's day is a few days
away...I have sent several cards to my
husband, and he has sent me 7 cards!....if there are times he cannot
buy cards, he makes his own, which
are very special to me. 3. Photos...I keep photos of my
husband throughout the house...in
the bedroom, living room, and
kitchen...In the beginning I would go
to the refrigerator and hug it, where
his picture was...I would talk to his picture. I also carry a pix of the both of
us, with our dog , on my keychain.
When he first went to prison, I mailed
him at least close to 100 pictures of us.
He was able to put them in photo
albums and he would happily show his pix to the other guys. And yes, my
hubby would sleep with those photo
books under his pillow, he missed me
so much. 4. Share your thoughts, feelings, and
emotions on the phone. Tell him if you
are lonely...or even angry....it is OK to
be honest. After all, your husband is in
prison, and you are allowed to feel
what you feel.....but most of all, tell him you "love him." ...a little "love talk" will
get you through those lonely days
and nights. 5. Daydream about your husband.
Think abotu those past days with him,
and think about how the future will be
when he gets home. Yes, daydream,
and at night dream...and imagine he is
still there next to you at night...Think about each other, as much as you can! 6. Keep the household together while
he is gone. Also, do something for
yourself, to make you a better
person...for example, take a college
course, or go to adult school...get
involved in church activities...join the choir!..do volunteer work, at the
hospital or nursing home...try to put a
little sunshine in the lives of others...try
not to concentrate on the difficulties
you are going through at this time... 7. Look forward to the future, and
know that you are getting there, even
though it is one step at a time. Be
strong and positive that your love will
survive......For us, it is easy, because,
"we love each other very much...and that is simply that...prison or not"! I hope this article has made your day a
little more positive, and that I helped
you through another day....Happy
Valentine's Day!.........and don't forget
to tell your husband, lover, boyfriend,
or whoever else is in your life, "I love you."...Those are 3 very important
words!
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